The China Man

Recently I got the assignment to write a short story.  I chose to write about an adventure I had while on vacation a year ago.  

I thought I would share it because still to this day I can't help laughing at it. Seriously.  I couldn't keep a straight face while writing some of the parts.  So I hope it makes you laugh a little!

Enjoy!

The China Man

Part 1 – The Climb Up

It is April.  My brother, mom, and I are on a vacation in  Canmore, Alberta visiting Carsen who is an old friend of ours and has agreed to take us hiking.  

To start us off Carsen chose a mountain called the China Man.  It is 7’896 feet high, and will take us about 3 hours to climb. However Carsen got a call this morning to work as a bagpiper at a wedding which is being hosted in the Canmore ski lodge. So we are planning to climb the mountain early so that Carsen will have time to run back down the mountain and go to work.  

To get to the base of the mountain we have to drive through a mountain road for about 15 minutes.  But before we even reach the mountain all our cell phones lose reception.

Soon we arrive at the mountain, and pull into a gravel parking lot with about 20 cars parked in it.  

We walk up a small incline and are soon we are at a dirt path with spruce trees framing the sides that create an arch above it, almost like natures doorway. 

This isn’t so hard, I was picturing a hand over feet experience but the trail is really gentle and easy.  I keep talking with the boys ahead of me.  Then the trail steepens and I am out of breath. The trail continues to steepen and I start to fall out of step with the boys.  

While I am falling behind so is my mom, and soon enough I am alone.  This is bliss, just me and the wild, complete solitude.   

While I climb, the mountain moves from under my feet to being on both sides of me.  On my left is the incline to the peak, on my right is the decline to the base, and with every step these sides increase in degree.

I am not afraid of heights.  So it is to my surprise that I am discovering a new fear: falling. So now I am afraid of moving downward, fast, and without control.

Soon the terrain develops from soft dirt and a variety of green plants and trees to evergreens and soggy mud.  I begin to notice snow in the shade.  Then snow everywhere until I am walking on snow.  Then the 

trees begin to become sparse and smaller, and then suddenly the ground changes into rock.

I am concentrating on my footing when I hear my name. “Kates!”  It is Carsen running back down, to get to the wedding.  “Late for the wedding yet?” I ask “No I got an hour, Jordan’s at The Ridge. Keep it up! You 

are almost there, about 30 more minutes” at this he runs passed me yelling back a good bye.      

I am close to the top when I see Jordan.  He is walking back down.  “Where’s mom?” he asks. My sentences are short and breathless “I don’t know…**Breath**...On the mountain..**Breath**...Somewhere behind me…**Breath**… I am going to go up to the ridge.” He just says “Okay bye” then we pass, both going our separate ways, me to The Ridge, him to the bottom.  I will regret this moment in an hour, but for now it doesn’t seem like a choice.  It just is.  But it was a choice, a defining one.

Part 2 - The Ridge 

I can see it now, the ridge and the peak.  The top of the mountain isn’t how I had expected it to be.  The ridge resembles and uneven roof: one side a steady slide down, the other an almost straight drop.  The ridge goes on for 4 meters where it stops and from there a steep angled upside down v appears. It goes out into the air at a steep degree, but not an un-climbable one.  People are climbing it, going out to the edge and sitting with their feet over the rock.  

I start out onto the ridge.  It is steeper than it looked from the path.  I remember the path; it was so nice, with the mountain always to one side and the drop always to another. Now there is a fall to both sides of me.  

Now the path is gone.  It appears that I have graduated from the path. I walk on slanted rock.  Pebbles and small cracks keep me from falling down the long side; nothing keeps me from falling down the steep side.  

I start to climb the peak.  This is terrible.  What a horrible, horrible thing to do.  Who does this? Well, I am doing this.  Who enjoys this? I don’t want the answer to that.

The wind starts to pick up its intensity.  This is getting scary.  I am not even half way up.  The fall to either side of me is terrifying.  The fall behind me is bone breaking.  I am not enjoying this.  Forget being afraid of falling.  I am afraid of heights, yes, officially afraid of heights now.

The snow gets thicker.  I can’t see much now, but it doesn’t matter this is too much.  I climbed to the top, so what if I didn’t climb the peak? It’s not like I have a death wish.  I start to back track now.  Back to the ridge, and back to the trail.

I soon find myself in a group of about 5 people.  Some people move ahead and some fall back until I am left with a couple, a man and a woman.  They are in their late 30’s.  She has blonde hair and he has curly brown hair.  Their names are Megan and Steven.  We start to tell stories and ask questions; soon we are in a friendly conversation.

I begin to realise that I can’t feel my legs.  Yes they had hurt on the way up, sure that is expected, but this...I have heard people talk about this.  I thought they were kidding, but no…I can’t feel my legs.  They should be throbbing right now; running down a mountain is so much worse than going up.  

So my legs are numb now.  Great.  It could be because we are running down the mountain at a much quicker pace than I would have gone if I had been alone.  

Part 2: Scottish Melodies 

Soon we are almost to the end of the trail.  I actually can’t believe this.  Over just like that.  We are in the wooded area when Megan and Steven stop at a river to wade in the water.  It sounds lovely but I really want a shower and new clothes.  On second thought I want food, like a lot of food.  Climbing a mountain on a light breakfast and granola bars wasn’t the smartest idea.  

So we say our goodbyes and then I walk out of the woods.  I have accomplished an amazing task of bravery and personal strength.  I am a mountain climber.  I am…..where is the car?  My heart starts to beat faster. The rental car, where is it? No, no, no, no. Okay don’t panic.  I am sure they will be here in a second.  My mom would never abandon me.

I sit down on a boulder by the parking lot, and make a list of my options.

1. Call them (No service)

2. Walk to where I have service (No cellphone power)

3. Walk to the main road (My legs are numb. It is a 30 minute walk to the highway, and that still leaves me in the middle of nowhere)

4. Wait for them to come back. (It is getting dark.  And maybe mom broke her leg and Jordan drove her to the hospital…even though he doesn’t have a license…oh God on the way to the hospital maybe they crashed the car and died and no one is going to know where to find me!)

 This is taking too long.  I have been here for like 20 minutes.  Something is up.

NO.   You are not going to let your imagination get the best of you.  That is not going to help anything.  You need to problem solve.  Okay another option.  You need another option. Just then I see Megan and Steven walking to their car.  This is going to sound like I am going to rob them or like the start of a horror movie but I have to try something.

  I walk over to them.  They are looking at me weird.  “Hey!” I start.  I actually can’t believe I am doing this.  “Can I use your phone? Mine died and my ride isn’t here.”  A worried expression grows on Megan’s face “I don’t have any reception, but I might have some at the top of the hill. We can drive you”  

 The parking lot is in a gully and there is a steep hill which is the only way into the gully.  I agree and they drive me to the top of the hill.

 I actually can’t believe I am getting in their car.  This is like the first rule you get as a kid.  Getting in a strangers car is the worst idea ever.  Still I get in their car.

We drive to the top of the hill but still no reception.  We drive a little further on and bam! Reception. I call my mom’s phone…ring…ring…dead. I am starting to panic now.  I call my brother’s phone…ring…ring…dead.

 Okay plan B.  I need a plan B.  “I think their phones are dead…” I am thinking…got it! It’s a bad idea but still I need to do something.  “Do you know the ski lodge?” “Yep” Megan answers.  “Well I have a friend there that is working at a wedding.  If you could take me there that’d be great.”  Carsen is going to be shocked.  

“Yeah, definitely!” Steven starts to drive.  “It’s the place with the big flags out front right?” He asks. “Yep that’s the one.”  I give Steven the directions and soon we are at the lodge.  He drives up to the curb in the parking lot and I get out.

Megan is still really worried “Here let me give you my number.  Tell me when you find your folks.” She scribbles her number on a napkin and I take it.  “Thank you so much!” I say.  I wish I knew if they helped, but honestly I don’t know.  I don’t know if anything is better now.  They pull off and I am left alone again. 

Solitude…not so blissful anymore.  

I walk towards the lodge and there is the beat up Toyota that Carsen drives.  I couldn’t miss it amongst the new black cars of the wedding guests. I walk into the lodge. The wedding hasn’t gotten busy yet and no one sees me, which is good. But I don’t see Carsen anywhere.  A bridesmaid is walking towards me from the main room, she hasn’t seen me yet.  I quickly walk into the first door I see.  Thankfully it is the women’s bathroom.

  I look in the mirror… and I laugh a little because there I am in the reflection and I can’t believe that is me, and I can’t believe I am crashing a wedding and I can’t believe what I have managed to get myself into.   I am covered in mud.  My hair is a mess and my cheeks are red.  I look like a disaster and I just keep laughing.

 Then I stop because I hear bagpipes.  Carsen must be close by.  I follow the sound of the Scottish melodies. 

I open the lodge doors again and walk out and there he is.  People are walking in now while doing their best to ignore the crazed-mud-splattered-girl staring at the bagpiper.  But really, could you blame me? How do just appear at someone’s job and tell the story that I just went through?

I approach the bagpiper slowly.  I walk around and he sees me.  I smile a really terrible smile because I know I shouldn’t be here and I know how insane it is that I am here.  He keeps playing but his expression says it all “What on Earth Kates?”  

 He stops playing.  Here we go.  “What.” He takes a breath “what are you doing here Kates?”  And so I begin “The rental car wasn’t in the parking lot and I just kind of got a ride here and I know that sounds crazy but I don’t know what to do and I really need your phone.”

I wait for him to either laugh or freak out.  He does neither instead a voice comes from the trailer parked behind me.  It’s the bride.  “Everything okay?” her head is poking out of the trailer.  “Yeah everything is fine.  My friend here is stranded and she just walked here from the top of that mountain”  And he points to a mountain pretty far away and sure enough there is China Man in all its glory. 

The bride mumbles an okay and a goodbye than goes back into the trailer.  I feel really bad.  I crashed her wedding, not dressed appropriately, and made her bagpiper stop piping.  

  “Here.” He hands me his phone. “Try to call them and go sit in my car.  It’s unlocked, and there is no food in there. I ate it all.” “That’s inconsiderate.” I say  “You should always leave spare food in case random hikers wonder off mountains to use your phone.”   I start to walk off “Thanks!” And the bagpipes start again.

I sit in the car and call their phones again and again. 

10 minutes:  I look for food.  He was right there is just a banana peel. I am so hungry.

30 minutes: I call my dad to tell him what happened, and to ask him if they called.

40 minutes: I regret leaving the mountain. 

The phone rings it’s my mom.  Oh. My…here we go.  I pick the phone up. 

“Hey, is Katie with you?”

“Hi, this is Katie. Where did you go!? I got a ride to the wedding because I thought you died in a car accident on the way to the hospital because Jordan doesn’t have a license!!”

“What? You are at the wedding? Why was I in the hospital?”

“Never mind mom, just pick me up please, I am really hungry”

“Okay see you in 5”

“Bye”

 “Bye”

She is very mad.  She doesn’t show it, won’t, until she knows I am safe.  Than once all needs and security issues are taken care of she will lose her sanity.

The rental car pulls into the parking lot.  I get out of the car and my mom does too.  I give her a hug and try to explain the whole story but I stop when I see Jordan in the window, but he won’t look at me.  He is mad, really mad.   

“What’s wrong with Jordan?”

“We thought you were still on the mountain.  He ran up and down it in an hour and he dropped his phone and it smashed.  When he got back I talked to a ranger, they are sending a search party out.  I had to call them on the drive here to tell them you hitchhiked to a wedding.”

“So where did you guys go?”

“We went to see a lake for 5 minutes at 2:00.  When did you leave the parking lot?”

“Uhh like 2:08”

 My brilliant plan doesn’t sound so amazing now. This is embarrassing.   

We head back to our hotel and everyone is asking what happened to me.  Turns out my dad spread the news all over Canmore.  

I finally eat in the lobby while the people at the desk talk about how worried my dad was.  My mom talks about calling the rangers while Jordan is on the phone with Carsen joking about everything that happened that day.

Later we compare everyone’s side of the story and it becomes clear, clear where everything went wrong.  I didn’t climb the peak, which leaves time missing.  I traveled down the mountain faster than I would normally have, that also leaves time missing. So I must have walked out of the woods the moment they drove off, and drove out of the parking lot the moment they came back.

This is infuriating.  The entire day, my entire attempt at making the right decisions is, in the end, so close to 

not being a disaster, and so close to not being an adventure. 

-Z